I don't wanna see the most extreme/bizarre, I just wanna have a good time. That's it; don't give me your shit, Andrew Zimmern. My hate for Andrew Zimmern is so pure that it puts the rest of my TV watching in perspective. I like Anthony Bourdain/Samantha Brown/Dhani because they're good honest clever human beings who possess a healthy amount of dignity and self-awareness. I would not be a friend of Andrew Zimmern. I think that's the first question I subconsciously ask myself whenever watching/hearing/meeting a personality. Would I hang out with him/her?
This list is not comprehensive at all, so if there's more, I'll get to it eventually. I'd also probably hang out with anyone not on this list until someone says "even so-and-so???"
kid i tutor: There's this really annoying girl in my class who keeps staring dreamily at me in class, it's really annoying.
me: Cool, I think she likes you.
kid: But that's gross though, I can't concentrate on my work when she's staring all weird. Who would want that? I'd rather just get my stuff done and get an A.
me: Well, if you like girls, it'd be worth it.
kid: I'm only in 8th grade, it's too early to be liking girls.
me: Well, is she cute?
kid: She's Indian.
me: So, is she cute?
kid: Duh! No! She's Indian. And she's got a big zit right here (points toward lower right lip).
So today (Monday) I was watching Day 1 of the NBA Orlando Pro Summer League on a stream off of nba.com. The quality is pretty good, the players are terrible, commentary is awesome, and it's probably the reason why my day was kinda weird (previous post).
The summer games are really different from a regular NBA game in that winning doesn't matter, and every player is incapable of passing unless it's a guaranteed assist. It's pretty cool, cause this is how I'd imagine a pick up game with pseudo-NBA players would be like.
Before today, I had no idea who Dante and Galante were. I still really don't. I think they're on local cable tv in Orlando and do a morning radio show during summer league games. They're great. During the two-ish hours of summer league I semi-watched/listened to, they said things like:
"Mareese Speights can't pass the ball upcourt, takes it to the hole, gets stuffed" "Great play, it was a 2 on 1 fastbreak" "You know Mareese Speights only makes the big plays"
"You know what would make these games watchable? Pros. OK, I'll take that back. Stars."
"Really? Please don't let this game go into overtime."
"Shaun Livingston. Yes, that Shaun Livingston."
"Who would you take in a foot race? Aaron Grey or a" "The other guy, easy."
I'll probably watch the rest of the orlando summer league.
I'm having one of those glazed over/television days. This is kinda weird since I haven't watched tv or sat in front of the laptop all that long today. This sucks.
I messed up big time on the shaved ice though. 1. I got greedy and thought peanuts would go well with it (false). 2. I forgot I don't like real red bean; I only like the paste (strike 2). 3. I don't know why I got lychee; I don't like it (dumb). 4. Condensed milk is a good way of making shaved ice taste more like yogurt.
Even after my terrible choices, I really like Little bean. It's one of those places I wish was all over the place when I was in middle school. Kinda like a 7-11 with tables and chairs and board games. Except really really Chinese.
ps. I don't care how good the Clippers look on paper; I don't care if they manage to trade Al Thornton for Al Jefferson; they are and always will be the Clippers.
Today I went down to SD to help Jomie move out. She didn't plan ahead at all and forgot to pack til I got there. Because tipoff for game 4 was at 6, we packed up all her stuff sans lunch, and hauled ass back home. At least until around Solana Beach at which time rush hour traffic grabbed us by the ass and wouldn't let go until forever. By the time we got near Anaheim around 2 hours later, I started to feel really restless; especially in my legs. Hey, no big deal right? I mean, it was a pretty bad drive. At first it was just a tingling in my right knee, then my left. Around Buena Park (I avoided the 57 and took the 5 to Beach) I had this terrible mental/physical itch that made me wanna kick like a mule. Man, this was a bad drive. Or so I thought. 15 minutes later (Or around the middle of the 2nd quarter of the game when LA was getting "manhandled" by Dwight Howard; as described by Mychal Thompson) I started to get really irritable. I didn't realize it until Jomie told me she was scared and that I should slow down. I don't know if it was the Jamba Juice from Price Center, the long drive, or the shitty way the game was unfolding, but I started to get cold sweats. When I realized I was literally sweating my ass off with the windows wide open at 7 pm on a gloomy day, I got really worried. At this point, I realized I was hungry, restless, irritable, itching, and sweating, and hungry. Jomie kept trying to reassure me that at this point we were only 10 minutes from home, and that dad probably has snacks in the kitchen somewhere. Needless to say, I was worried for my life at this point and I probably would've driven the van into a tree within 10 minutes. I stopped at the McDonalds 5 minutes short of home, had a McChicken and 2 Apple Pies, and instantly felt insanely better. I can't describe how much better I felt. I was less than 2 hours of hungry from homicidal when I was ordering, and 3 minutes later after the meal I was close to feeling good enough to give my sister money for school. They have 2 TVs in McDonalds now. The Lakers were down 6 when we went home for dinner.
I had to write this entry because I don't ever remember a time where I felt so strongly about anything where my body was trying to kill me with cold sweats and everything if I didn't get something from McDonalds. I thought about this a lot during and after the "Mac Attack", and it was one of those times where nothing else would suffice. It felt highly reminiscent of "Burgin", but way way worse. This was not a heyifeellikeburgersnotreallyfeelingburritos type of thing; this was life or death. Really. Probably the most extreme thing I've ever had to endure. The 15 minutes before that McChicken was insane; I was completely aware that my body was gradually turning against me. I imagine this is how those grasshoppers feel when fly larvae develop in their bodies and slowly take over their brains and zombify them.
